The Real Jessica Moore
by Annonie
Summary: Everybody has their secrets. This is hers. Rated T: Mentions sex but not descriptive and a few f-bombs drop.
1. Part 1

**AN: **Time to dust the cobwebs off my keyboard and finally get someting written! This may not be my best story, but I needed to get something out before I went insane from lack of writing.

**Beware:** This is not Sam and Jess fall in love and live happily until Dean comes.

Time is Running Out  
By Muse

I think I'm drowning  
asphyxiated  
I wanna break this spell  
that you've created

you're something beautiful  
a contradiction  
I wanna play the game  
I want the friction

_The Real Jessica Moore 1/2_

The first time she saw him was in her Into to Human Communications class. It was a lecture, but he stood out like a sore thumb. But not in the way one would think. It wasn't because of the way his long body scrunched down in such a small seat or the way his generic rumpled clothes clashed with everyone else's designers brands.

No, those were way to obvious for someone like her. She noticed the other things that he probably didn't even notice. Things he didn't know he possessed.

Without question, she knew he was the one.

-:-

She saw him again at the library.

She already discerned he didn't have enough money for a laptop of his own, so it was only a matter of time before he popped up. Still it didn't make her any less annoyed that it took five hours of waiting until he appeared.

She silently watched from behind her book as he entered the computer lab. Despite herself, she had to smile at the way he dodged out of everyone's way who walked past him, obviously trying to look smaller than his eighteen and a half feet.

She would have him in the palm of her hand by the end of the week.

Glancing at her watch, she told herself she would wait five minutes before approaching him; she didn't want it to look like she spent half her day waiting for him. She clicked her pen impatiently as she watched him through the Plexiglas. She barely made it three before she opened the door to the lab.

She casually walked in and sat at the station next to his. She was sure it looked kind of odd sitting so close to him, practically the whole room was empty with most students being able to buy their own laptops. But he didn't seem to mind. Actually, he barely seemed to notice.

She quickly typed in her username and password before turning towards him. "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I think you are in my Human Communications class," she rushed out, all awkward and smiles.

Startled, he looked over and slightly blushed before raising his eyes to meet her face.

Smiling, she thought back to how she was sure to put on her low cut top to catch his attention.

He brought up his hand to stifle a small cough. "…Human Communications? Yeah, I'm in that class." With a class of over two hundred students it was no wonder why he looked at her blankly.

"Great!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "'Cause, I miss last Wednesday's class and I was wondering if I could borrow your notes. If you happen to have them on you." It was a total lie, she hadn't missed a class since she entered the university. He just seemed like the type who liked to help people, and she needed an in somehow.

It took him a moment to respond, obviously thrown off by the exuberant stranger asking him a favor. He flashed her a dimpled smile and pulled his notebook out of his bag.

"Sure, each page is dated," he stated before turning back to his computer.

"Thanks so much. I'll just copy this down really fast, so you don't have to wait." He was already nice enough to lend her his notebook, she couldn't appear to be a total jerk and have him wait.

"Don't worry about it, I'll planning on being here a while," he said, he eyes glancing over at her from behind his bangs.

She just nodded as she jotted down the notes she already had on the previous page. Biting her lip she turned back towards him. There was no way she wanted to be a nuisance, and first impressions were everything. But she needed to know his name in order to find him again.

Placing a piece of long blond hair behind her ear, she asked, "I'm sorry, here I am asking you favors and I don't even know your name."

She was quickly rewarded with another dimple smile. "Sam," he answered as he stuck out his hand.

Promptly shaking it, she responded, "Jess."

_Sam and Jess._

She liked the ring to that.

-:-

It wasn't long before they went on their first date. Sam was as awkward as he was on the first day she talked to him. At first it was kind of annoying, like she was dating a nervous, fourteen year old on his first date, instead of a university student. But soon she found his nervous twitches kind of endearing.

Jess almost had to snicker when he hesitantly placed his hand on top of hers during the movie only to quickly bring it back to his lap. She felt slightly sad that he was trying so desperately hard, and failing so miserably. She finally decided she would give the poor guy a brake and grabbed his hand, placing it in hers for the rest of the movie.

Jess, of course, played her part flawlessly. All charm and giggles, acting just how he would want her to act. She didn't know much about his childhood, just that he moved around a lot (probably had a dad in the army). Early on, she realized that a large part of Sam craved normalcy. It was an easy enough part to act, and she was very grateful he wasn't into all that emo shit. She actually found herself enjoying the role a bit. With so many people out there striving to be out of the norm, it was nice to find someone who was trying their way into the apple pie way of life.

With her attire complete with a sundress and a little clutch purse, Jess found herself standing in front of her door wondering when the hell the man in front of her would grow some balls and kiss her.

Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "So, um, are you ready for that test on Wednesday? I heard it's gonna be a killer." He glanced away and scratched the back of his neck for what must have been the umpteenth time.

"Yeah, I studied a little. But I figure I have Monday and Tuesday to review the outlines." Jess leaned forward and subtly pouted her lips, trying to make them look as kissable as possible.

Sam merely looked in every other direction. "Yeah, I-I know what you mean. With all the other classes it's hard to focus on something like communications."

Sighing, Jess grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled his lips down to hers. It felt nice, but it only lasted a millisecond before he quickly jerked his head back with surprise.

Staring at his wide eyes, Jess began to worry that she gave something away. Maybe she wasn't as smooth as she thought. Maybe he could see right through her thin façade. Maybe that one forceful move was enough to give everything away.

But then he wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her with more passion than his meek stature revealed.

Not one to be easily startled, she quickly regained herself and pressed her young body into his.

Mission accomplished.

-:-

She wanted Sam.

She wanted to tear his shirt off his body and feel the heat against her bare breasts. She could feel herself grab his muscular body by the hips and pull him down on top of her.

It took everything in her power to not jump on his lap and rip off his pants right there in the dorm room. She twitched in anticipation as the images played over and over in her head.

It was more than a want. It was a _need_.

And for some reason she _needed_ Sam. She didn't need his love and attention, she only needed one thing, and for some reason it was one thing she couldn't have.

All because Sam's Jess was sweet and pure. Sam's Jess hadn't even talked about the idea of sex. _Sam's_ Jess hadn't even performed oral on him.

She really resented her role sometimes. She really did.

Jess thought about going downtown and hooking up with a guy at a bar. It wasn't like she hadn't done it at the beginning of their relationship. She always made sure to go to a seedy bar in the darkest area of the city to ensure she wouldn't get caught by one of Sam's friends. It was easy enough, let a guy think he was pouring drinks into her, when actually she was doing the same to him.

But now it just felt wrong. Like it may crack her façade just enough for Sam to see through it. Plus, she knew Sam was the only fix for her current crave.

It was like her life was just one big Catch 22.

Completely oblivious to her inner turmoil, Sam looked up from his economic book and turned towards her. "Hey, I'm gonna run down and get some food. Want anything?"

Jess highlighted a sentence in her own book just for show. "Nah, that's okay. I'm on a roll here."

"Okay, I won't be long."

The moment he left the room Jess jammed her face into his pillow and screamed.

-:-

The evening was perfect…by Sam's standards. Jess thought it was okay. So sue her for not really caring for "Thoroughly Modern Millie". It just all seemed a bit fake. Wow, the guy Millie fell in love with was actually rich, who knew? What a twist.

Then again it was a musical, a university production nonetheless, and she was never the theatrical type.

Of course, she never let that showed. Sam enjoyed the theater and so did his Jess. She was even in a musical her junior year in high school . And for the life of her she couldn't think the supposed name of it. Probably Chicago or something, a musical that everyone could recall off the top of their heads, even a theatre-nothing like her.

Finally, the encore was over and everyone was rising from their seats. "That was amazing!" Jess said with a stretch.

Sam snaked his arm around her and threw his program in the trash. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Yeah, I mean the ending was just so cute." Jess couldn't help roll her eyes a bit.

Sam kind of chuckled at that. "I dunno," he sighed, "Don't you think it was a bit fake?"

She tried not to let her surprise show as she replied, "I suppose so. But that's the point to a musical, isn't it?"

"I guess," he whispered as they weaved through the sea of people.

Maybe Sam's evening wasn't so perfect after all.

-:-

Sam lay next to her dead asleep, his eyes moving rapidly beneath his lids.

Jess had been staring at him for the past two hours waiting for REM sleep to finally sink in.

She softly kissed Sam on the forehead before lightly tracing her finger in a circle in between his eyes. After three circles one way she continued the other way then alternated once again.

After the sixth time she began repeating the passage she knew since she old enough to read.

"Abscindere istaec cerebrum. Auctoritas abducere apprehendere. Abscindere istaec cerebrum. Auctoritas abducere apprehendere."

_Open your mind. Powers take hold._

-:-

It was their three month anniversary and Jess was just antsy for something, _anything, _to happen. She never thought building a relationship would take so fucking long.

It was like they were at a stand still since their first date, everything just plowing along at its own pace. She wasn't used to that. It was supposed to go at _her _pace.

At least they reached oral a couple weeks ago. She didn't know who to thank for that.

She really thought tonight may be the night that it finally happened. Then again she thought the same thing almost a week ago and was crushed when Sam just dropped her off at her dorm.

But Sam was acting nervous about _something, _causing her to have flashbacks to their first date. He needed to do something soon, Jess really didn't care what, as long as it moved the relationship forward. They had hit a plateau and they really needed to take that next step for her to continue her process.

Sam came back from throwing away the trash when he dropped the bomb.

"I love you," he stated as he closed the door. A flood of red rose to his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just say it like that. I've been wanting to say it all night but I could never find the time. And for some reason my head figured why not right have you take out the trash of all th-"

He was promptly cut off by Jess kissing him on the lips.

"I love you too."

She was surprised when it didn't feel like a _complete _lie.

_To Be Continued..._


	2. Part 2

Time is Running Out  
By Muse

I wanted freedom  
bound and restricted  
I tried to give you up  
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation  
you'd never dream of  
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

_The Real Jessica Moore 2/2_

The months flew by one after another. The night Sam professed his love they finally fucked. Even though he wasn't the best she had, after anticipating it for so long the sex itself was out of this world.

At least that wicked monkey finally stopped clawing at her back.

When spring semester reached its end they wound up getting an apartment together. Jess could tell part of Sam thought it was too soon, they had only been dating around seven months, but the other part that craved a relationship won out.

By the second week of living together she realized Sam was a hunter.

She had a nagging suspicion all along, but part of her wouldn't believe that the world could actually be _that _small.

He obsessively checked the newspaper every morning, his mood depending on whether or not there were disappearances in the area. He thought he was being stealthy about it, just a regular college kid reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee. But when the first mention of a disappearance showed up he stuttered an excuse and left for the library, not returning until dusk.

Yep, no denying that. He was a hunter through and through.

Either that or Jess should be really worried about the wicked looking knife underneath their mattress.

She wondered how she got past a hunter. Her façade was good, but it wasn't _that _good. As she watched Sam with a closer eye, he was completely oblivious to her true presence.

At the end of the day, Jess just assumed that maybe Sam just wanted normalcy so bad that he shut his eyes to everything else.

But that didn't stop her from being a bit more careful around him.

-:-

"Abscindere istaec cerebrum. Auctoritas abducere apprehendere."

Jess traced the last circle around Sam's forehead and collapsed next to him. Her arms felt like dead weight. Glancing out the window she settled in for her usual four hours of sleep before she had to wake up and start another never-ending day.

She placed her arm on top of Sam's chest and waited for sleep to finally sink in, with any luck she would be out cold before the birds started chirping, alerting the world of a new morning.

She had just stepped into dreamland when she felt the chest underneath her twitch.

Snapping her eyes open, she turned on the dim lamp beside her and watched Sam as he twitched through whatever dream played out in his mind.

Except for it wasn't a dream, it was a vision.

Jess could feel in the heartbeat underneath her hand. His powers were finally surfacing.

She starred, completely enthralled, as the vision continued. She had no idea what he was seeing. And she knew she never would. Chances were Sam wouldn't even remember the vision in the morning. If he was lucky, he would just able to recognize traces of it and pass it off as a dream.

But it was a start. An agonizingly slow start, but a start nonetheless.

Sam would probably start remembering his visions within a couple months. Maybe he would have waking ones by the end of the year.

As the vision faded away, Jess leaned down on top of Sam and sighed.

Her mission was almost complete.

And for some reason she wasn't as happy as she thought she would be.

-:-

Jess was startled out of her sleep by someone shaking her shoulder.

"Jess, wake up."

"Uh…Wha-?" she grumbled, disoriented for what must have been the first time in her life.

"Jess, you were having a nightmare," Sam's concerned whisper filled the room.

_Nightmare?_

"Impossible," she replied off-handedly. She never had nightmares. Didn't even know she could have nightmares. "I dun have nightmares," she slurred burying her hand further into her pillow.

Jess was already half asleep when she felt Sam's cool hand touch her forehead. "Lemme alone, Sam." She was not in the mood for his paranoia. She was exhausted from performing her little ritual on Sam only two hours before, ached from…doing something, and had a test the next morning.

"You have a slight fever," Sam stated, his worry showing in his voice.

"It'll go away." There was no way she would be losing more sleep over something as stupid as a 'slight fever'. Knowing Sam, her temperature was probably 98.9 and he was ready to call the hospital.

"I'll get you some water." He didn't wait for a response as he walked out of the room.

She almost shouted that she didn't need water she needed sleep, but her throat was too sore. He quickly came back and handed her the glass.

Taking a couple sips just to appease him, Jess placed the glass on the nightstand and burrowed back under the covers.

Finally satisfied, Sam climbed into his side of the bed and wrapped his arm around her. "What was it about?"

"What about?" Jess asked, trying hard not to sound too annoyed.

"Your nightmare," Sam stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

Jess merely sighed and replied, "I don't remember," without even thinking about it.

Sam tightened his hold around her. "Well, you seemed pretty frightened, so that's probably a good thing."

An involuntary chill shot up Jess's spine. Maybe she remembered more than she thought. Unreachable impressions lingered in her mind. The feeling of dread suddenly filled her threatening to swallow her whole.

Sam leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Is there something your not telling me?"

It took her a second to find her voice. "No, is there something you're keeping from me?" she turned the conversation back on him. It was the only way she knew to shut him up. Whatever the dream was, it didn't want to be remembered and she was perfectly fine with that. No need for anymore horror in her life.

Sam simply deflated against her and began whispering phrases of something behind her.

It took her a second to pick up on it, but when she realized he was speaking Latin she suddenly felt comforted. It had been so long since she heard someone speak her native tongue. Listening closely to the words she realized it was a prayer to a saint. She had no idea which one, she never bothered to fill her head with such useless knowledge, but it was still nice to hear the soft words elegantly spoken.

It was times like that she realized how special Sam really was.

When he finished the prayer Sam kissed the back of her neck and deeply sighed.

"Don't stop," the words came out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying.

Sam lightly chuckled at that. "Make you feel better?"

Jess simply nodded.

"It worked on me too. My brother used to do it when I had a nightmare. I didn't even know what he was saying until I was nine."

Jess remained silent, waiting for him to start again.

Sam began repeating another passage, meanwhile Jess listened trying see if she had heard it before.

As the passage continued, her stomach severely cramped, causing her to groan in pain.

Of course, how could she have been so stupid? Hunters only knew several different Latin passages, and most of them were used to kill.

"Stop," she panted, the pain clear in her voice.

"Jess?" Sam grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards him. "Are you okay?"

Jess had just enough time to push him away before vomiting over the side of the bed.

-:-

Sam had headaches. He had them since the day Jess met him, but they were increasing in both pain and frequency at an alarming rate.

Jess didn't have to think too hard to figure out what was causing them.

Some nights she would come home to every shade drawn and soft music playing on the stereo. Jess would just tip-toe past a lightly dozing Sam on the couch and study in the bedroom.

When the headaches turned into full blown migraines Jess begged Sam to see a doctor. Of course the stubborn boy blatantly refused, and she resorted to making sure the cabinet was always stocked with Motrin.

It wasn't until Sam muttered her name during a nightmare, vision, that she knew something had to be done.

She didn't have many options. When she realized how disabling the visions were to Sam she stopped the nightly process. But by some cruel twist of fate, Sam's visions now had enough control to continue without her meddling.

She knew that she should be proud of herself, she never prepared someone like that before and it was exciting to see how successful it was. At least it would be exciting if it wasn't for the incapacitated Sam moaning on the couch.

Jess grappled for ideas to make it stop. Just make it all stop. It was supposed to be simple. Meet him, help his powers surface, leave. That was it. Nothing more. Somehow she ended up with an ailing boyfriend, who was having visions about her. And from what she learned about the premonitions she knew it most likely involved death in some twisted way.

When Sam woke up in the middle of the night, screaming her name at the top of his lungs, Jess knew she was out of options.

The next morning, she poured Sam a cup of coffee, while he searched over the newspaper subconsciously looking for something to pique his hunter's interest.

"Sam, I'm moving out."

Sam dropped his paper and looked up at her with eyes that would make the most cold-hearted person rush to hug him. Jess immediately looked away.

"What?" His eyebrows rose with confusion.

"I-I'm moving out," she repeated, feeling her confidence zap out of her.

"Why?"

Jess didn't look at him, she knew the expression hadn't changed. "I feel like…" She paused as she searched for words. "I just…I think it's time we both move on."

"Why?"

Jess couldn't bare to hear that desperate voice anymore.

"I'll be leaving tonight."

-:-

Three days later and thirty ignored voicemails from Sam later Jess woke up in another strange apartment next to another John Doe.

In a matter of hours after leaving their…Sam's apartment, she returned to all of her bad habits. She just thought that after being away from drinking and random sex for so long she would have missed it more.

But she didn't. She missed Sam.

She supposed she would. She spent an infinite number of hours with him over the past year. But this…this was like going cold turkey after a year long addiction.

Last night, while with Mr. Doe, she found herself calling out Sam's name. Luckily, the frat boy had been so drunk he didn't even notice.

She needed Sam. She needed him to drag her out of bed in the morning and push in the shower so she would make it to class. She needed him to lay beside her and whisper stupid sweet nothings in her ear. She needed Sam to hold her during the night, instead of just fuck her and roll to the other side of the bed.

And she hated herself for that.

Jess climbed out of bed and grabbed cell phone, seeing five more missed calls. Walking out the door, she called her voicemail box, just wanting to hear Sam's voice.

Twenty minutes later Jess found herself knocking on their apartment's door. It only took the first knock before Sam swung the door open.

"Hi," she whispered, unable to look away from Sam's shocked face.

"I'm missed you so much," Sam sighed as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Me too."

With that said, she knew she just gave one of them a death sentence.

-:-

God, she needed to get smashed. Not just I-can't-walk-straight smashed, but why-am-I-naked-next-to-an-armadillo smashed.

Unfortunately through years of drinking anything she could get her hands on, her tolerance was through the roof and that level of drunkenness was near impossible. She had the row of empty shot glasses in front of her to prove it.

She had no idea how she ended up in the rundown bar next to what used to be a factory of some sort. She just left her class and headed down there without even thinking. It wouldn't have been so odd for her to do if it wasn't for the fact she hadn't been in a bar this seedy in almost a year.

At some time in her relationship with Sam she stopped all…well most of her bad habits.

She didn't know how she felt about that. Part of her mourned for the time when she was carefree without having to think of a lie to tell the man when she returned. The other part didn't mind…even kind of enjoyed the stability of always knowing who she was waking next to in the morning.

God knows she didn't have any type of stability in her life before. But then again she supposed she had God to thank for that.

Refusing to think of anything that may put a damper on her buzz, she stood up from the bar stool and walked out of the bar, her blue skirt swishing behind her.

Back home to Sam.

_Sam. Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam._

What a mess she got herself in. She only wished that maybe, just maybe, he would understand in the end.

Out of nowhere, a massive arm shot out and roughly dragged her into a dark alley.

"What the fuck?!" she shouted before a large hand covered her mouth. She was pulled tight against a body behind her and pressed up against a brick wall.

"Din't ya Daddy tell ya not to get drunk so late?" the man slurred in her ear. "Bad people are just waiting to get cha."

Jess wrinkled her nose at the stench that reeked from the man.

One hand slowly dragged up her thigh when the man flew to the wall behind her.

Quickly turning around, Jess watched bemusedly, her eyes shinning with glee at the look of horror on his face. The man sought to find purchase on the ground as he was slowly dragged up the brick wall by an invisible source.

Jess walked towards the man, her heels clicking on the pavement. "Didn't your mommy ever tell you to treat women with respect?" She didn't wait for an answer as she brought her hand up and closed it into a fist.

She couldn't help but chuckle as the man gasped for air.

As the man quickly changed from a shade of red to purple, she brought her hand up to snap his neck and be done with it.

But she didn't.

She wanted to. Wanted to so bad. It had been a long time since she had a good, clean kill.

But she didn't. And for the life of her she didn't know why.

Her hand dropping, Jess watched angrily as the man fell to the ground.

Regaining his breath, the man stared at her black soulless eyes. "W-what are you?"

She bent over and peered straight into his terrified eyes. "You don't want to know," she snickered, wickedly smiling as if she was feeding off his horror.

She stood up and blinked the darkness out of her eyes, revealing her innocent green irises once more.

"Don't you ever come here again," she warned. Jess brought up her foot and stomped on his testicles, digging in her heel as far as she could.

She silently walked away, relishing the agonized screams behind her.

-:-

Jess stood there silently as Sam told her some bullshit story about Jim, Jack, and Jose.

She saw Dean briefly before following Sam. It was nice to finally put a name to the face. She only said two words to him though. Sam may have been blinded by love, but Dean was a natural hunter. She felt like he could see right through her college student façade.

She was hesitant about letting Sam being alone with Dean. Two hunters conspiring with her being left behind. It wouldn't take long before Dean asked about her. After all, she was shacking up with his little brother. Maybe once talking about her out loud, Sam would finally put all the little quirks together.

Nerves on edge, Jess stopped Sam as he headed towards the door. "Sam, please stop for a second. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Sam easily passed off the concern. It was obvious he was antsy to go.

Jess just had to try, she couldn't be discovered. Not this far into the game. "It's just…you won't even talk about your family. Now you're taking off in the middle of the night to spend the weekend with them? And with Monday coming up, which is kind of a huge deal."

"Hey, everything's going to be okay…"

Jess didn't listen to anything after that. It was obvious she couldn't talk him out of it. And now he was going to spend three days with his hunter brother. Maybe he was returning to the hunter lifestyle for good.

Jess snapped out of her thoughts to find him already walking out the door. "At least tell me where you are going!" she shouted after him desperately.She just couldn't shake a horrible feeling that it would be the last time she saw him.

-:-

A second generation demon with a second generation hunter.

Jess heard of stranger couples than that. Hell, a year ago there was a rumor going around about a incubus teaming up with a nymphomaniac. Except for that pairing kind of made sense…in a twisted sort of way.

Weird couple or not, Jess couldn't have been in a better mood. She just got a call of Sam that he was coming home that night. All her worries about never seeing him again were unjustified.

Jess pulled a the final sheet of cookies out of the oven and looked at the time. Only a couple more hours until Sam came home, and she looked like a mess. She quickly placed the cookies on the plate next to her note and ran towards the bathroom to take a shower.

She felt the chilly water with her hand, knowing it would be a couple more minutes before it reached even a lukewarm temperature.

As she entered the bedroom she stopped dead in her tracks.

"What do you think you are doing here?!" she shouted at the dark clad figure standing by the window. She didn't have to see his creepy-ass yellow eyes to know it was Azazel.

_Collecting my prize._ The gruff voice filled the room, even though the possessed human's mouth never moved.

"He needs more time! The other children are still much more powerful." She had been working on Sam for over a year and now a stupid first-generation demon wanted to take him away from her. Like Hell.

Azazel just whipped his head towards her, his eyes glowing with rage.

Jess steadied herself and raised her hands. The bastard needed to get the hell out of there before Sam came back. And if he wouldn't listen to her words, then she would just have to push him out of the damn window. She raised her arm and swung it in his direction.

Azazel barely faltered. With a twitch of his eyebrow, Jess flew backwards to the wall behind her.

She struggled as she rose from the ground. "He isn't ready yet!" she pleaded. A sharp burn filled her stomach, tearing her insides apart. Unable to move, she screamed out in pain.

Tears streamed down her face. "He isn't ready!"

_He will be._


End file.
